what do i really want out of my cell... i was just wondering tt and i guess its tt i want to be someone hu is able to make an impact on those girls lives. i really do care for them and it makes me happy when they come to me to hug me or talk to me or something i just pray that God will use me to be more than just a normal friend to them but someone they can turn to in thier times of need and someone who they can share thier lives with. like the last time i tried it was a failure and i really did reflect on what happened and i guess tt time i was still qt immature myself to start leading already and there were so many problems in the beginning tt just i dunno. maybe it was God way of preparing me cos this time i really do feel much more involved and prepared to help lijia. and yah! i really thank God for her cos she has such a fervour for Him tt i think its really obvious and tho at the moment the girls feel tt bible study is boring and stuff but i think tt she really does prepare like mad for it and she tries really hard and i bet tt tho they think its boring stuff are seeping in and they are learning stuff wether they know it or not. today we prayed for each of them by name and it was such a i dunno. like powerful time cos shes rite tt if u fail to pray for ur sheep then uve failed as a leader. i really do want to be a good leader and i just pray tt God will show me His way :)
 
i think this yr it has been the hardest to fast and stuff. maybe cos my nats just over and like suddenly stop eating frm eating qt alot during and before the nats tt its like ive been so hungry recently haha... oh wells. tts wad it means to sacrifice rite... i was like super tempted to eat lunch today haha... sometimes im like qt sad haha... not really sad lah but like i always dun have pple to eat lunch with on sun cos like my cell members all dun come on sunday rite den i feel like abit bad to go with chui li's cell all the time cos like somehow i feel like im some little kid tagging along with them. so im qt grateful tt duane and darryl invited me to eat with them today haha... cos i really had nothing to do and i din feel liek going home. and thanks duane for waiting with me for my mother tho u really din have to! yah but see tts wad a GENTLEMAN is haha...
 
sigh. im supposed to start studying tml. wish me luck haha... i will need to pray alot for discipline and stuff. but sometimes i feel like. somethings God helps us but somethings we are supposed to do ourselves cos if God does everything for us den wads the pt. like sometimes i ask God to please help me to be good or to help me not to commit such and such a sin aymore but actually the responsibility is not God's rite. its mine. and im the one who is supposed to change my own heart and mind to obey Him not Him changing my character... i mean yah there is tt too but i feel tt its more my duty than His somehow.
 
anyway i am like thinking of reccommending to uncle kk tt all youth leaders do the decipling others handbook. i found it super extremely interesting and helpful and challenging and i think it like really teaches alot of new stuff tt can  help in terms of mentoring and stuff. tell me wad u think! :)